


Astronaut

by youwerefantasticrose



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-29
Updated: 2013-03-29
Packaged: 2017-12-06 21:48:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/740519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youwerefantasticrose/pseuds/youwerefantasticrose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>And you may be acquainted with the night</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>But I have seen the darkness in the day</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>And you must know it is a terrifying sight</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Because you and I are living the same way</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Astronaut

_But you are, my love, the astronaut_

_Flying in the face of science_

_I will gladly stay an afterthought_

_Just bring back some nice reminders_

 

“And if it’s my last chance to say it, Rose Tyler—“

She wakes up with a gasp, and he’s not there, he never is. Not since that day on the beach. She squeezes her eyes shut, but the tears come anyway, burning their way down her face, her shaking hands clenched into fists.

Even in her dreams he never finishes that sentence.

She lives half a life in Pete’s World. She wakes up, she works, she sleeps. Or she tries to sleep. It’s the life she thought she’d left behind when she first stepped into that blue box, when she’d first met him.

The Doctor.

He’s always there, in the back of her mind, and the front, and the sides. He’s everywhere. Except for next to her.

When it’s dark and she’s alone, she can’t fight it. The grief and the loss and the unbearable pain of missing him. And now, as she sits in bed, her hands covering her face as she cries, thoughts she’s hidden away within her bubble up to the surface.

What if he’s moved on?

She tries to push the thought away, but it fights back until it takes her over. She imagines him, on the TARDIS, laughing with someone else, travelling the universe and space and time, flying as he always has, holding someone else’s hand, her presence simply an afterthought. And he should have someone, she should wish that for him; she wants him to be happy, she does, but she’s alone and broken and lost without him, and there’s a part of her (an overwhelming part at this time of night) that wants to know that he misses her, that he’s lost without her too.

She can’t let him forget her.

She needs to know how that sentence ends.

She needs to find a way back to him.

She starts work on the dimension cannon that night.

***

A billion miles and a whole universe away, he sits alone in the console room, his face blank as he stares at the wall.

He holds her shirt in his hands, and his hands tighten on it, his eyes welling with tears.

He’s parked on a planet, the sun shining on it after he’s saved it, alone; and he’s thinking of her, as he always is. Wondering what’s she doing, if she’s alright, if she’s happy.

If she misses him.

 

_And you may be acquainted with the night_

_But I have seen the darkness in the day_

_And you must know it is a terrifying sight_

_Because you and I are living the same way_


End file.
